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Tip of the Week

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Dress Codes

Tired of your alive employees coming in in sandals, shorts, purple hair and enhough piercings so they can't use the elevator that goes past the MRI machines?
You'll never have to send a ZombieTemps worker home for wearing ripped jeans! Nope, we make sure our zombies are always dressed professionally in conservative and sensible rotting business suits[1].

You'll never again have to worry about scaring your customers with an employee who's a little too creatively attired! With zombies, you can stamp out creativity in the workplace before it even gets started.

[1]Decaying business casual also available

Unions

We love 'em! Since unions are only for the living, let them bargain all they want! The more expensive and troublesome the living are, the easier it is to make a case for an all-zombie workforce.

And there's never a threat of unionizing your zombies, either! Even if someone managed to get a zombie to sign a union card, zombies can't remember squat (except that they like to eat brains.) So they never go to meetings.

They also never have money (and you certainly won't be paying them!) so they don't have anything to pay union dues with. Union organizers lose interest pretty quickly once they find out that little fact!

Want to be a Real Equal Opportunity Employer?

Tired of the bleeding hearts in HR insisting you make your staff look like an episode of Barney the Dinosaur? ZombieTemps can help!

We can re-animate zombies of any gender, religion, eye color, age or skin color[1]

Whatever diversity is expected of you, we can supply it. Short of left-handed Latvian pro-wrestler ex-nuns? No problem.

[1] Though 'greenish-grey' is going to be a big component of that skin color. Just saying.

Safety in the Workplace

Oh, those pesky OSHA rules!

Gone are the days when you could leave the top off the sulfuric acid vat, or store the ebola petri dishes in the employee break room fridge.

If you have alive employees, there are all kinds of unbelievably complex and annoying regulations you have to follow in order to try and keep them that way.

With zombies, though, you can go back to the refreshing days of unsafe ladders, exposed live wires and leaving the motor running while the truck is inside the closed motor pool garage. Zombies don't care. They're already dead!

Can you see how a zombie workforce makes for a much bigger bottom line?

Management Training

Hate those boring management training courses you have to go to? Once you replace your reports with zombies, you can turn those depressing slogs into sweet week-long offsite mini vacations!

Because no amount of encouragement, tough love, or team-building is going to have the slightest effect on the motivation and dedication of your new zombie workforce (much the same as with alive employees) it won't matter if you attend the training or sit by the hotel pool sucking down pomegranate margaritas for the week.

And just in case the trainers take attendance, we provide daily and hourly zombie rentals in most major cities; we can find a qualified zombie to pretend it's you for as long as you need!